deterioration
by the.ways.we.lie
Summary: In the end, she was like the moon, part of her was always hidden away. 一 [rokunami drabble]


deterioration

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In the end, she was like the moon, part of her was always hidden away.

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rokunami, angst, drabble.

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Roxas waits at a coffee shop for her. She is only five minutes late, he assures himself, it could have been a wardrobe malfunction or bathroom problem. He decides to take a seat near the entrance of the shop. They're going on a date, a quick movie before break ends and school starts again. The sun is setting fast, and the colors of orange and yellow with streaks of scarlet fills Roxas with something like wistfulness. He imagines her in all her beauty, her flaxen hair, strikingly blue eyes, and she is everything he is not, simplicity and elegance, calm and full of poise.

And he loves her all the more for it.

But he's not quite sure she loves him for his chaos, his anger, his everything.

He checks his watch again.

Ten minutes.

He takes another sip of his coffee and relaxes into his chair.

The blond knows she'll come.

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She doesn't come.

He asks her tentatively about it the next day, and she answers almost curtly, "I got busy with this art project." He bites his tongue behind his cheek and fake-smiles. "It's okay." But it isn't, there's something like anger in the pit of his stomach, but he lies anyway, he just wants her to be happy.

Still, the knot in his stomach is bothering him.

"But you should've called me at least." he adds, a hint of disappointment and anger in his voice.

Naminé looks at him with her blue eyes, and there's something genuine behind those cobalt eyes when she apologizes. Somehow, the knot dissolves instantly after, and he walks a bit closer to her. His hand brushes against hers for a fraction of a second.

She almost jerks away.

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Valentine's Day is coming up. He has something stupid and simple planned. He will play piano for her, songs that she enjoys, and after they'll enjoy desserts filled with too much sugar and butter to be healthy, but a little indulgence never hurt anybody. Roxas spends the whole week before Valentine's Day testing different cookie and brownie recipes, and he is excited for a day alone with Naminé, how could she refuse-

"I can't go. I'm sorry." Naminé says. Her voice seems apologetic, but he can hear the emotionless monotone behind it, a planned excuse. His expression darkens, and he thinly veils his true emotions. But she is analytic just as she is neat and clean, and she reads him like an open book. "I have a big art show on Friday and-" she starts to explain, but he interrupts her.

"I know. It's okay." he sighs, with the organ in his chest beating somewhat painfully. "You're busy." He spits out the last word borderline sarcastically, but his sarcasm only hides hurt and desperation.

Naminé tightens her lips, and he can't tell whether it's from guilt or something else entirely.

"Yeah. I am."

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When she walks after him for the first time in ages, he knows it is coming, and he is not surprised at all.

"We should talk." she says, her eyes cold and almost blank. Cold to the very end, he laughs to himself bitterly.

"I know. It's okay." he says, and he feels something break when he says that last word. They stand there for a second, looking at each other. Naminé exposes herself to him for the last time, with an expression filled with hurt and almost guilt and a wistful smile.

She rushes away.

He watches her go until reality settles in again, and his heart throbs again, painfully.

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He sits at his piano, the black and white keys taunting him, almost. Roxas's heart hurts again and again, the memory of _her_ coming back in surges of heartbreak, and he begins to play. The notes come to him slowly, fingers slowly moving through the measures, but his heart throbs again and he begins to pick up the speed. And the measures begin to slip through his fingers, with his heart keeping the beat, and memories of her flood his eyes.

The blond remembers snuggling, clasping hands, talking, smiling, laughing, and on a whim, Roxas changes the song. For a couple minutes, his heart doesn't hurt as much, and the notes are gentle and forgiving, and he somehow manages to tie it all together.

He feels drained after the song. His heart is nothing but a dull thump in his chest, because he still loves her more than she knows, but she doesn't love him back, and it's over, over, over.

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notes: wow this was super depressing. i've had a rough few months, so i'd love some reviews, haha.

hope you guys enjoy this story~

-truth


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